If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
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Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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