They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
