i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
