Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
