Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
