At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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