idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
