So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Randomize
