sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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