I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
