I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
