There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
