wat bout pragnant strippers??
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
