Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
