His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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