Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
my being single is dangerous.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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