Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
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In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
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Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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