Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
