his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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