it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
