There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
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