Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
