the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
