Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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