Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Can Purell be used as lube?
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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