Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
Randomize
