I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Duck Duck Cougar?
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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