You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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