Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
