wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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