My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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