They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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