if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Randomize
