God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
