can u get pink eye on your cock?
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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