Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
