You're so nebulous sometimes
That's intense
I think I am morally bankrupt
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Randomize
