Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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