Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Randomize
