Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
