Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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