I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
His hands were made for my vagina.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
