Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
