great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize
