Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize
