two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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