I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
