I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
