I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
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