Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
