This is not my ceiling
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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