WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
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