im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
