capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
operation harelip BJ is a go
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize
