Who did Billy Mays play for?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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