Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Randomize