hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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