hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
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