Duck Duck Cougar?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize