Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
