Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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