if you like me you must not know who I am
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
