Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
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There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
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ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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