Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I got inside last night via doggy door
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
