Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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