Its about making memories worth repressing
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
